Why We Call Him Grouch…
(Warning…twisted humor ahead)
OK, just for the record after his stint as Oscar the Grouch, Grouch was green for a VERY long time and we do not recommend Kool Aid as a coat coloring unless you want the color to be semi-permanent! Grouch was not harmed in any way during the filming of this page (well, ok, his dignity was injured a bit and the Ken doll was irreparably harmed, but other than that it’s not much to ask in exchange for a life of luxury, is it?).
To follow up his act, here are some pictures from Halloween 2003 when Grouch played “The tiger who ate Roy”. We gave him 2004 off!
Update: Our beloved Grouch passed away December 15, 2008 after more than a two year battle with lymphoma. Initially we found the cancer in his liver and spleen, and I began chemo thinking we would buy him a couple of months at best. He made it 28 months, nearly to his 14th birthday, and though he got a little skinny I think most of that was very good quality time. We miss our Grouch terribly; there will never be another kitty with such personality in our lives.
The vet at the clinic liked Halloween a lot
But the Grouch, who was king of the clinic, did not.
The Grouch hated Halloween! The whole Halloween season
Please don’t ask me why, no one quite knows the reason.
It could be they dipped him in Kool Aid that’s lime
Or they stuffed him in a can for a very long time
But whatever the reason, the Kool Aid or the can
As soon as he got a chance Grouch up and ran.
The day started out getting doused in the sink
With, of all things, a lemon lime drink
That certainly was not made with cat fur in mind
Of a violent green color that nearly left you blind.
And just when it seemed that he could sink no lower
They put him in a cage and they turned on the blower.
It blew and it blew until Grouch was quite dry
And the whole time his one thought was “that vet, she must die!”
But that wasn’t enough, there was more torture in store
They came to the cage and they opened the door
And they sprayed on the grouch a bright green hairspray
As if just Kool Aid wouldn’t do for the day!
By now poor old grouch was as green as the grass
As he dreamed of biting that damn vet in the a$#.
But still they weren’t done with the poor little man
They grabbed poor Grouch up and stuffed him in a can
And on his regal head they stuck big fake fur brows
Made of enough fur to clothe a great big fat mouse
By now Grouch was fuming, so angry and bitter
He vowed never again would he use the litter
Instead he would pee each night and each day
Wherever he thought that the smell would best stay
He’d have his revenge, just see if he would
For the rest of his life he’d be up to no good
But the vet she just laughed and stuffed him in the trash
Then opened the lid, blinding him with a flash
It wasn’t enough to just torture him so
Why, now everywhere she’d have pictures to show
And Grouch was so miffed and his pride was so hurt
That he jumped on the vet and got green on her shirt
“Just see how she likes it” the grouchy cat groused
“See how she likes being green, even if its just her blouse!”
But that mean old vet wasn’t done for the day
“As long as he’s green, I know more games to play!”
So they put on a hat that was fur trimmed and red
And they tied it right on poor old Grouch’s green head
And although that old Grouch didn’t help them one inch,
You know, they were right; he looked just like the Grinch!
Finally they were done and let Grouch rest in peace
And their torture that they called “fun” finally ceased
But one thing that they haven’t told Grouch as of yet
Is that the green that is in his fur’s now sort of set
And the only way that we can get that green out
Is back in the tub for at least one more bout!